As I laid in bed last night, it was no un-ordinary evening. I was surrounded by familiar sounds and sensations... the smell of sagebrush being carried through the window on the wings of the evening desert breeze, the coyotes' chorus of comradere as they seemingly speak of their plans of the next hunt, and the occasional growl from one of the dogs seeking to keep any and all "intruders" at bay. My attention was however focused on the most prominent of the familiar evening sounds. It's not something I hear all of the time, because any who know me are familiar with my ability to sleep quickly... and sleep like the dead. However, this particular night, I laid there awake listening to a familiar man's deep, peaceful breaths as he slumbered next to me. His hand was holding mine below his pillow and the dim light shining through the window faintly showed his face, which exuded the peace he apparently felt as he rested beside me. Tears came to my eyes as the realization set in that the next day I would be again saying goodbye to him for a few more weeks.
I have always considered myself to be a fairly independent person. I have this joke that I often tell when people hear that I married my husband just before my 19th birthday that it was the Lord's way of making sure I hadn't established so much independence that I would NEVER get married, or be pretty tough to deal with when I did. Certainly that is a bit of an over-statement, but it lends to my point in the realization that in this day, the world would have me believe that I "owe it to myself" to have some sort of an identity OUTSIDE of my marriage & family relationships. Everything I do, inside our outside of our home, I consciously do for my husband & children. As Greg and I have gone through these past years together, it becomes more and more difficult to consider any part of myself independent from him. As I laid there staring at what to me was the most beautiful face of any grown man in existence, I felt the realization come over me of how much I NEED this man and how blessed I felt to have him need me too. Our time apart had only magnified the fact that a vital part of our hearts & souls are missing when we are not together.
I love this man with all my heart... and can't wait to see him again.
4 comments:
This is really, really nice
Maleia.. I consider my identity with my husband my whole identity.. The only identity I desire.. When we were married we became one.. We are not whole when we are seperate, that is why we feel a void when the other is away.. I kind of like my guy also.. And I kind of like your guy to.. I love you and I love your compassionate heart. You my dear niece are beautiful... inside and out.. You make me smile just seeing your picture... May you never lose this feeling for your Guy... Independance is a personal quest that sometimes is not found until we realize we are not independantly whole until we have that special someone to make us complete.. :)
Strength mixed with dependence, independence mixed with need. The perfect balance. Well said, my friend.
I love you two! He is one lucky man to have a lady like you! Hugs and we need to plan another get away together!!! You are independent but united together at the same time. You two are more in sync with one another than any couple I know!
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